Being happy all the time is a myth. Being happy all the time isn’t something that everyone needs to aim for all of the time. Yes, we want to be happy but it’s unreasonable to expect happiness to be the only emotion we feel.
We have a range of emotions as humans so that we can experience things on all kinds of levels. If we were just happy all the time we’d only experience happy things, things that make us happy: joy, love, all of the things that bring you a smile. But this just isn’t the case.
Life can throw all kinds of things at you. Just when you think you’re on the rollercoaster of happy, something can be thrown your way and all of a sudden you can find yourself plummeting down. Down fast, down to the bottom, where you are filled with emotions that you just don’t want to feel.
Experiencing all the emotions are a part of life. Being 100% is actually allowing yourself to feel all of the different emotions. By giving yourself permission to feel sad when you’re sad, angry when you’re angry, hurt when your hurt, disappointed when you’re disappointed, frustrated when you’re frustrated, you’re allowing yourself to be human.
Yet too often, many of us are taught that the only way to feel is happy.
Unfortunately, what this does is it makes us chase an emotion which sometimes just doesn’t serve us.
It’s important to feel different things in different ways for different reasons. How do you know what happiness really is if you don’t experience the other side?
You can’t experience cold without hot, you can’t experience sunrise without sunset, you don’t have Ying without Yang or salt without pepper, and you can’t have happy without all the other emotions as well.
So why is it so hard to feel these emotions?
At some point in time, you may have been told only babies cry, or that it’s a sign of weakness, that being angry is OK but sad isn’t and the being disappointed just isn’t worth it. If any of these sound familiar, or you can even think of your own examples, it is likely that these things you were once told, or even shown (which means you probably have no idea it even impacted you), dramatically impact the emotions you allow yourself to experience now. You see emotions are a choice, and we can change them when needed, but suppressing them or not allowing them to be heard first, only causes us more pain and discomfort.
So here is the challenge, I want you to feel all your emotions. Allow yourself to have them come naturally, give yourself time, space and presence to be with them, then ask yourself the following questions:
What emotion do I feel?
Why do I feel this way?
What am I learning by feeling this emotion?
What am I getting out of feeling this way?
Is this real?
How do I want to feel?
Could I change my emotion?*
These questions are designed to get you in touch with your emotions, to have you consciously check in with yourself and bring awareness to how you feel.
(*The last question is the next step, I’ll do a follow-up blog on this next week)
Remember, as you go through this process, be kind to yourself, anything that makes us more mindful of self can be challenging, confronting and sometimes bring up other things we didn’t know where hidden deep within us, if this is you, let it be and see what else you can learn about yourself from this.
If this is something you would like to explore further, please do get in touch, and we can work on this together.